Musings of a 22 year old English major and writer..

.. and a figure skating fanatic

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clayrulzz
Well, Merry Christmas everyone! Things are pretty good.. I'm enjoying my break.. glad I took a few days off of work- smart thinking :) Christmas at Dad's is going to be pretty quiet- I already know what I'm getting. (An Ipod Nano!)

As for the whole Christmas spirit thing, it's slowly creeping up. Today it feels more like Christmas. The whole thing gets me thinking about family. Is it wrong to still think about C and J? I don't think I miss them.. just the idea of them. Maybe I do miss them a bit, when they were nice. It seems like eons ago. And I don't think I'm playing the victim, because I'm not.. but I just miss having someone to take care of I guess. And when they were little, they were really cute. I mean, I spent 7 years of my life with them. It still feels a bit wierd that they bailed. But whatever. I know I'm better off without them!

Anyways, rant aside.. I'm doing really well besides that little wondering :P

Merry Christmas!

I really don't want to fail another class again.
clayrulzz
But I failed my lab exam and I failed my Geology paper. I just wrote my final and I'm not sure how that's going to turn out. I'm not stupid. I'm not. I feel stupid right now, but I don't think I am stupid. Gah.. this beyond sucks. I'm hoping I won't fail. I'm praying I won't fail. I've already failed one course at this campus.

*sob*

Good day!!! :)
clayrulzz
This morning I worked on a project for Math and it went okay. But, then I hung out with Aimee and Cam.. we had coffee.. and talked.. and it was very nice and fun. Than, I hung out with Cam in preperation to go see MacBeth, which by the way, was awesome!!! Loved it. Now, I'm back at home. It's late and I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Night :)

Oh man, it's been one of those days.
clayrulzz
You know them? Well.. today just generally wasn't very good. In Playwriting, it was okay.. we read some people's plays, but so many people were missing! That was pretty fun though, I guess. In Math, we watched a movie (An Inconvienient Truth)-- I fell asleep. I don't know why I've been so tired lately, I don't like it :( In Dino class.. well, that was interesting. Our lab was solely based on Math equations.. speed and such, and "The Breakfast Club" who normally love eachother, were ready to strangle eachother. Not fun. And now.... I just wanna go to sleep and crawl up in bed. I hate days like these :( Plus, I almost lost my jacket and was running frantically around the school looking for it (I found it, thank goodness) but know for a fact I've lost my house key. AHHHHHH. *grumble*

Oh, and not to mention... projects and tests coming up that I'm not ready for. Seriously. I hate being stressed.

A wierd mix of feelings..
clayrulzz
How is that as you become older, things start to become more complicated? Confusing? Good and bad?
Friends right now are like that to me. I remember leaving high school, and the thing I worried most about was drifting apart from my friends. And it didn't happen, not really- not till about this year, when slowly, we've stopped talking basically every day, and emailing, and everything. I mean, I don't know so many things about their life right now and they don't know half of what's going on with me. I suppose it's a two-way street though.. They've changed and I've changed. Of course, there's the select few of my old friends who I know I'll be best friends forever with, but the majority of my friends, the feeling has dissapated a little.

I mean, I've developed a whole new group of friends at school, and I feel like I really belong. I love that feeling. I love having people to laugh with, to sympathize with, and to get you unconditionally. I was missing that for most of last year, and it's nice to have that again. It's just wierd, that's all, how you grow apart from old friends and make new friends. I still want my old friends in my life, but I have to accept that things are different now, and there's no going back to high school. I wouldn't want to go back to high school.

Anyways, an update (I don't think anyone ever reads this, but I like writing, lol):

Playwriting is really fun. I've wracked my brains trying to write this freaking play, but this class is guaranteed to be fun each day. I love classes like those. It kind of reminds me of Drama class in Grade 9 and 10, which was the best class ever. (Gr.11 and 12 kinda sucked.)

Dino class and Math are okay: not really great, but that's to be expected for me.

Children's Lit: Most days are really fun. I love how we have a mini group of us in both Creative Writing classes... the five of us are getting to be good friends which is awesome.

-Hopefully seeing MacBeth soon w/ D, M,and C. There's a reception afterwards too which will be fun.

Exhausted though, time for bed.

'Night!

Writing a play is hard work.
clayrulzz
*grumbles*

AHHH.
clayrulzz
Seriously, I love my mom and everything, but wow, she's critical. Of everything and anything. Frusterating...she might do it because she cares, but still. Ah.
Other than that, things are good. My scene is getting read in Playwriting. *is scared, but excited*
Work is going well.. McD's is pretty fun, minus the annoying guy;)

Feeling a bit lonely today..
clayrulzz
Have you ever felt like you don't really fit in? I'm kind of beginning to feel that way. At school, I think I do. I'm part of a small group of friends and fit in nicely. But the rest of my friends, sometimes it seems I care more about them than they care about me. Do they even care? How do I matter to them? Sometimes I'd just like a little reassurance, that's all.

An update if you will...
clayrulzz
Well, school has been in session about a month, and ahhh! Midterms!! *runs away and hides*
Yeah, not excited for those.

Um.. I love playwriting. It's kinda difficult coming from writing fiction, but everyone is settling down and it's a fun and interesting class. The monologue today from one of the girls in my class was amazing.

Dino class is okay.. lots and lots of notes. Midterm next Tuesday. Oh no.

Math... kinda ugh. Midterm in two days. ahh.

Children's Lit. I like it, but who knew three hours could feel like three days?

.. other than that, dance has started. There's finally a Senior Tap class now, which is alright, and my solo, which i really like. I'm doing my tap song to "You Can't Stop The Beat."
My school friends are awesome. I'm making some new ones, too. Yay for socialness.

All in all, things are good.. but I hate tests! Make them go away! Please? :)

Hating people is a scary thing.
clayrulzz
But I do. I really think I hate her as much I hate him. They are so alike, it's scary really. But I don't hate people, that's the thing. Not really, anyways. So if I end up hating them, does it mean I'm going to turn out bitter and horrible and mean? I really, really, hope not. But, they brought it upon themselves. It's not my fault, I know that.

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